Haters gonna hate. Not my kitchen. Whatever. It’s human nature to presume any new innovation is crap. Nothing new there. As soon as anything’s launched you’ll always find people who supposedly know better, flat-out rejecting everything. Of course, it’s not like they’ve tried it themselves. Whether we’re talking snowboards, inline skates, scooters, whatever – they’ve all been there. Even mountain bikers still have to put up with bad-mouthing from moaning hikers.
Everyone has an opinion – and that’s a good thing. In amongst all these innovations, there’s probably some useless stuff in there too, fair enough. Only time will tell what’s worth it. But ask us (and many other people too) – E-MTBs are definitely an evolution that is going to have a lasting effect on the sport. However, the prejudices against this very young sport can’t be ignored: “Those pussies are just cheaters,” or “That ain’t got nothing to do with mountain biking,” or even “If you can’t ride up here yourself, don’t bother.” The E-MTB pigeon hole is packed with intellectual comments like this.
So, dear E-MTBers, we suggest giving die-hard mountain bikers a little more time until they get used to this ‘new’ thing, or until they’ve tried it out for themselves and admit that “Oh yeah, it’s not so bad actually.” But until that moment of revelation, here are our top eleven argument-crushing comebacks that’ll make any hater speechless.
The real hater
E-mountain biking is for lazy buggers and should be banned!
The comeback: Sorry, I’m sure you’ve got a really interesting argument but we’ve got a 50 km ride with 1,500 metres of climbing to do! See you later!
The sarcastic one
What, are your legs too anaemic to get you up this climb?
The comeback:Thanks to my E-MTB I ride quicker, farther, and more often than you – so don’t bet on being fitter than me.
The educator
Don’t you want to teach your kids how to ride a real mountain bike?
The comeback: While your kids spend their time playing Playstation, at least mine come out on a ride.
The one-behind-the-times
Bloody hell, not another damn E-MTB!
The comeback: Get used to it, you’ll see more each day.
The performance-obsessed rider
You E-MTBers have a pretty cushy life. But if you don’t sweat, it ain’t sport.
The comeback: My cadence is twice as high as yours and I ride at twice your speed. So forget laziness – just look at my heart rate on Strava*.
(*Strava has now introduced an E-Bike category 😉 )
The astute one
Bet you wouldn’t get up here without a motor, mate.
The comeback: What about those times that you shuttle up the climbs? While you’re in a sweaty gondola or pickup truck, I get to ride through the woods. Try it. It’ll do you good.
The actual idiot
E-mountain biking is just for weaklings.
The comeback: Yeah, yeah. While you and your ripped meniscus can go and get fat on the sofa, I’ll just go out for a massive ride.
The trail technique fiend
These E-MTBs weigh a ton. How are you supposed to ride off-road?
The comeback: Ever asked someone competing at Red Bull Romaniacs how they manoeuvre their KTM across the terrain? It’s about skill, not weight!
The pissed-off one
Those bloody E-MTBs keep overtaking me on all the climbs.
The comeback: Oh, strange. It’s the opposite for me.
The know-it-all
E-biking is just for OAPs.
The comeback: My mum on an e-bike is faster than you.
The save-the-earther
It’s all just such a waste of electricity.
The comeback: Isn’t it better to start directly from my house on my E-MTB than drive all way the way to the woods first?
BAM! 11–0! Whatever insults gets thrown at you – be it accusations of cheating, insults about the weight of your bike, or gibes about the brutalisation of MTB culture – these are eleven sure-fire ways to vocalise your way to the win and score a point in favour of E-MTBs. At the same time, let’s try being honest and grown-up; it’s a sad state of affairs if these arguments are needed. The trails don’t discriminate, so whether you’ve got a motor or not, let’s all just have fun.
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Words: Sven Günzel Photos: E-MOUNTAINBIKE Team
